Robbie/Portobello/non polluted beach

the journey begins

Waverley Station

~~~~~~

Weird things happening - I keep on having these odd encounters.

I started a new job today and got a bus I don't normally get. A man got on sat in front of me and had this conversation on a mobile straight out of Rebus about how nobody in his family could dive anywhere or they would be lifted by the polis. He seemed pretty drunk/under the influence to me. We were proceeding in an easterly direction towards Leith.

Then he turned around and started this long monologue about how his passport had been taken away because he was ill (!) He was supposed to have an operation but he wasn't sure if he should just go underground instead. And he hadn't told his family about being ill and yesterday 3 ambulances came to take him away but he was just thinking about skipping the country. What did I think he should do? I thought he should have the operation. Then he stood up to get off the bus showed me the scar from his last operation and lurched off the bus. Somewhere in the monologue was a mention of him not drinking. Luckily he was struggling with two boxes as he got off my stop so I was able to make my escape to the supermarket.

How to set goals....

Bad goals are ones make for other people.To curry favour or love or acceptance. Bad goals are ones made to create an identity, for the ego to preen.

Life enhancing goals are about the journey as well as the end. It doesn't mean that all parts of the goal will be easy or pleasant there will still be moments of stuckness and terror and anxiety and a need to 'do it anyway'. But looking overall in the totality of one's life the goal will be worth it. If you don't get the goal you are not worthless or diminished - things happen. Plans fail it does not mean that you have failed as a person. You were not necessarily failing to 'manifest' properly. Sometimes you need to find another way to your goal sometimes you find its something else you need all together. Sometimes we just need to set a goal and set out on the journey until we do we will not know if it is the right goal for us. We cannot always know in advance. We have to take risks in order to live.

New idea 'soft goals' not hard in stone if I don't do this I have failed but lets try this and see what happens. It may be the way or it might not. Neither is good or bad - it just is.

I'm really enjoying posting up these photos (I think from two years ago) With a bit of distance I can see them fresh and anew. I'm trying to shift a lot of things at the moment and hanging onto the small things that give pleasure like finding a stash of photos on my hard drive and clicking the jpeg numbers and seeing what comes up is a moment of pleasure.

At the same time I'm aware that I spend far too much time here at my computer and am making a concerted effort to meet people and actually gasp! speak to them on the phone!

useful Holga camera hints

here - I've got about 10 exposed rolls waiting for the funds to process them. In the meanwhile I'll keep uploading the lomos.

10 tips for great travel photos

By Sibylle Meder over at JPEG.

I've no idea what this tryptich of bomb like containers are - I see them each time I'm on the train to London and they always catch my eye.

Sign in Liberty's for the bookshop - now turned into the perfume area so the bookshop sign made out of books is gone.

Neal's Yard Courtyard London Lomo

From the Edinburgh to London train

5 ways to find inspiration

This is something I wrote over at my other blog.


Ok you want to write a script - in fact you are desperate to write a script and you sit down and stare at the computer or notepad and nothing… nada. Here's some ways of accessing the muse.

1. 
   Carry a notebook and pen with you at all times. Something which can be shoved into a pocket or a bag easily. The writer Anne Lamott keeps index cards about her person at all time. This way when you are struck by something say an overheard conversation in a bus you can quickly jot down the idea and capture it.
2. Give yourself space for the muse to visit. Ie allow yourself a bit of living and what I call noodling time. Give yourself to walk between appointments, do something you’ve always thought might be interesting or fun to do. Somehow allowing ourselves to play and have fun keeps the imagination alive.
3. 
   Don’t just go to the cinema any thing you write will then be influenced by what you see rather than being original - mix in museums, theatre, music- the off beat. In the same way vary your inputs – don’t just read film books browse the other sections of the library and bookshop. My first film came out of reading a review copy of a non-fiction book in the publisher I worked in. (Similarily if you are a poet don't just read poetry)
4. 
   Become known as a screenwriter in your circle. Once people know that you are a writer they will offer you stories – I kid you not. Again take notes (one of my short film scripts was a heavily revised and changed take on a friend’s really weird childhood).
5. 
   Do what writer/director Adrian Meade does - go through newspapers not nationals but local papers tear out all the weird and off beat and intriguing stories. 'Two brothers transport their dead dad in an ice cream van.' He puts them in a large trunk so he knows that if he runs out of ideas that he can always look in it.Strangely enough he never has. (This does't work with online papers as the serediptious factor is taken out - they must be real old fashioned paper papers).
   

tulips and blossom

Spring seems to be out in force and I'm spending time sitting on buses and admiring those garish park plantings tulips/stocks/pansies in clashing colours, the impossibly fluffy hybrid sweetie pink blossom. All quite yummy. No photies but do go out and do a little 'Cherry Blossom Admiring Time' if you can.

I like to remind myself of this occasionally!

The Lives of Others

I went last night to see this film. Its about the power of art to change people despite living in intollerable situations. I was very moved by it. I met my friend in the South African cafe Ndbele which is just oppostite the cinema - perhaps the reminder of my childhood in another authoritarian state overlaid my response to the film. Here is an interview with the director.

Jealousy

Christine Kane has a great blog about it. It uses up lots of energy so well worth engaging with rather than trying to 'over come 'it or ignore it.

Mommy effiiciency

Great post by Andrea Scher on getting down to it without the procastination.

Cool Australian food blog - makes me nostaligic for my time in Sydney.

guerilla benching....

ChavCat aka Perry now rehomed - it was that or a cat ASBO. One day I'm going to do a film about the cats in my street. I should be ashamed to say that I know more about the cats then the humans but I'm not. For example I got very worred about Miss Blott (full name Blott on the Landscape) because I hadn't seen her all winter and was very relieved to find her sitting in her garden with her human a few weeks ago. Next door has a new cat called Jess who is young and 'done' but is now ... how can I put it politely ... well I can't - sexually assaulting my little Frida. And the other day a new neighbour introduced himself and it was obvious I was known as Frida and Diego's human above all other labels.

Right now I've been sluping up amazing views. I went to the beach on Thursday it was as calm as milk and looked like mother of pearl. I was walking with my parents as my lights went out a few days earlier and my dad came to fix my circuit. I quite enjoyed watching Desperate Housewifes by the light of four candles and a string of fairy lights. Perhaps we should spend more time in candle light. . Yesterday the haar came in and as I waited for the bus the mist was so thick I couldn't see Edinburgh Castle. Just a wall of blank whiteness with occasional building looming out when the mist thinned. Very odd as the entire city is a city of vistas and views - it is what makes Edinburgh Edinburgh.

The glass roof on the escalator at the Kelvinbridge Underground in Glasgow.

I'm going through my back catalog of photos and posting them. This was taken in 2005.

Small slow steps today. I'm finding breaking things down to the tiniest part is the best for me. I get more done that way by sneaking the work in.

Ian Hamilton Finlay

There is an exhibition of his works in London at the moment.

Photography - how to draw a picture in light

instructions here

North Bridge Edinburgh looking towards the Carlton Hotel.

I don't drive so lots of the photographs I take are from bus stops I wait at or are from my way to or from a bus stop. Its by these things the fabric of our lives is fashioned.

The beach at night

another lomo of the skylights

the star shaped skylights at Portobello Turkish Baths

H a p p y E a s t e r

Sitting outside and drinking coffee with my friend, trying to stop cats eating my tulip buds.

Smalll furry cuteness for Easter here.

turkish baths and easter eggs

Last night I went to the Turkish Baths at Portobello. (Here's a history of Turkish Baths in the UK). It was fabulous. After several rounds of steaming, plunging, eating of cake, fruit and turkish coffee brought by my friend L with REAL cups we tumbled out about 9pm and sat on the promenade looking at the light houses twinkling and the waves and felt completely blissed out.

I've been neglecting my body recently I must make amends. Today its lovely and sunny and I'm thinking about my easter egg buying strategy...

don't buy it make it

article on the revival of sewing your own clothes .

walking barefoot

I went to the beach last night and its the first time this year it was warm enough to take off my woolly tights and shoes and walk with bare toes.

Bliss.

I hope that you can do the same whereever you are.

giving ourselves credit

I spoke to a friend recently. I asked her what she had been doing and she said that she drove her mother 6 and a half hours each way so her mother could visit a friend in hospital. I commended her for doing a very good deed. And she said grumpily that it was a chore and it wasn't a good deed because she felt it was like a chore. But I disagree - who was it said it doesn't matter what you think but what your actions are - Sartre? The bottom line is that she did a good deed she might have done it with bad grace but she still did it. It was shame that she couldn't give herself the credit for having done it as well.

I have a new blog!

Dear heavens another ... this one is specialised on short film making. Any requests for blogs on specific area let me know. I wanted to build up a big of a backlog of posts before spreading the word.

Artists Survival Kit

by Keri Smith. I'm sure that I've posted this before but do check it out!

Encouragement to Do More Things Badly

SARK: We’re always thinking progress is an advantage. In fact, it can be the exact opposite of what our souls need. Once again, our souls need regression as much as they need progress. I love Thomas Moore for saying that. We’re so indoctrinated that progress is the way.

ALISSA: We don’t even want to admit when we regress or that we’re not being productive.

SARK: People lie all the time. Just take television. People continually lie about it. They say they only watch a little bit and mostly public television—or the nature shows and the Discovery Channel. They’re presenting an inner critic compilation of the appropriate programming to watch. Or they go further and say, they never watch. TV’s a waste. There are better things to do with your time. Simultaneously, they judge others who watch too much TV and specifically, the wrong kind of TV. It’s another subterfuge we undertake to hide our actual experience.

I remember I was home alone sick one Thanksgiving weekend. I watched reruns of “Thirty-something” or some other show. There was a marathon. I watched 38 episodes in a row. I began living in it. I was so with these people that when they had their Thanksgiving show, that was my Thanksgiving. I confessed what I did to a friend, and to this day, the friend admits to feeling so safe when I owned up to it, because this person had done similar things and always felt really alone.

TV here is just a metaphor for a lot of other things that people don’t tell the truth about. Most of us have similar things. We have too many books we haven’t read. Most of us feel guilty about the books we haven’t read. Most of us have overflowing closets and procrastinate about ever having any order in them. On and on. Why aren’t we just admitting these things, laughing about them and then spending our energy elsewhere. There’s always going to be entropy and disorder and lack of progress. That’s going to be a constant. We can use the energy we’re spending trying to make progress in much more pleasurable pursuits or other creative endeavors. I know that was a tangent, but I had to go on it.

ALISSA: It’s an important one. We put ourselves in these rigid molds based on what we think is socially acceptable or the right approach.

Encouragement to Do More Things Badly

SARK: Please let’s invoke the spirit of my friend Rebecca who died two years ago. She said, “Please tell people to do more things badly.” For instance, meditation works even when you do it badly. And that goes for everything else. Once again, most of us aren’t just procrastinators, but we’re perfectionists, too. We don’t even try new things because we might be any good at them. Guess what? It’s fun to take dance lessons—even if you’re not good. Not everything you try may turn out to be fun, but don’t futurize to stop yourself, because of your perfectionism.

ALISSA: I loved when you wrote about taking a class in something you know you’re bad at in one of your books. How that act is freeing.

SARK: Even my speed dating experience. I was really bad at the preliminaries of that. I was a wreck. I was overfocused on my appearance and having trouble driving. I was talking to myself. I’m a meticulous person, but when I got there, I filled out all the forms and promptly lost my name tag. I don’t think it was an accident. When I went to report the loss, the person said, “I’m sorry. We can’t replace that.” I thought he was kidding, but he wasn’t. He said if I’d lost it, I couldn’t participate.

He told me to talk to the organizer about whether or not he might do something. Fortunately, he had found my name tag on the floor. But he said, “Don’t lose it again or you can’t participate.” My perfectionist was going wild, saying I didn’t do the right thing. It was funny. Then, I found out that I was much better at talking to 10 people for 10 minutes each than I ever knew. I found out that in some ways, I was more comfortable than the people I was talking to. The point is I’d never know if I hadn’t tried.

more here

Finding water

I found a bloggers collective all doing Julia Camerons' new book

Interview with Julia Cameron about the Artists Way

"I think people become more comfortable in their own skin. I think people become more bold. I think people become less easily intimated by authority. I think their humor improves and all of those things tend to be reflected in daily choices."

more here

A confession

My week of being ill and out of sorts. I've spent so much time surfing - checking up on 'boyfriend' gawker etc rather than just being ill. Isn't that an art? Learning to be ill rather than running away from it - distracting myself from it?

I keep on making plans despite being ill. Today I got up very late sat outside and drank coffee and wrote my morning pages. I wrote how I'd do lots of housework and finally SORT OUT THE FLAT! Meanwhile cats jumped up and down on me, I chatted to neighbours over the fence. I went inside and blogged. Eventually I left the house (it is an utterly gorgeous if cold day) to buy supplies and on the way posted some postcards to students and friends. As I stood staring at the box (quelle horreur! our postal service is to become even more spotty) I was surprised by an ex-lodger of mine who appeared out of the Central Bar. (Fantastic place amazing 19th tiles on the wall, and made - well -celebrated by Irvine Welsh).

We had a chat and I expounded my general gloom and malaise due to illness / work / life. He suddenly said 'Do you have 3 minutes?' so I found myself in William Hills trying to decided which horse to but a bet on at Uttoxter 5.30. In the end the Bunnotted Belle despite being third for some of the race was trounced. Not that I should have been surprised at 18 to 1. Anyway for the 5 mins or so the race was being run and our horse was doing well I had this surge of exhilaration.

Of course after it lost I put the bet in my bag and trotted off to get my messages.

I put in a whole sleugh of emails this afternoon trying to organise get togethers and take my mind off the way I feel. Oddly enough after this serendipitous encounter I think I'll stop. I'm making my dinner I'm going to enjoy eating it and just veg out with my knitting hopefully not too terrible TV and stop feeling guilty about surfing for pictures of my 'boyfriend'. Basically stop fighting to make myself they way I feel I ought to be.

Natalie Goldberg: Painting and writing

Natalie is the author of the fantastc book Writing Down the Bones which has had an enormous influence on how I see creativity. Some years ago she wrote a book called Living Color which was about her paintings and how when she gave up paiting she feel into a deep deep struggle with her writing. Ironically she had given up the painting in order to be 'serious' and 'commited' to her writing - which then suffered. Her paintings infused her writing. I wonder how many creative people need the infusion of something else to support their creativity. I find that a really dry life for me is one where I am not cooking anything of interest or I've stopped playing with wool.

Here's an extract from Natalie's book.

I offer you Gypsy Girl and Notebookism in lieu of a proper post. I keep on thinking of long and fascinating ruminations but they flit through my mind in a rapid rate and I've spent a week fighting this cold thing which is a losing battle.

the global Artist Date

Join in ! Michael Nobbs has launched a Global Artist Date (fun outing to keep your artist juices running) which he calls The Global Shop. More info at his website.

But basically the idea is to go out to a seondhand shop/chartity/thrift shop set a abudget and buy something you would never normally buy send Michael a photo of the result and he will upload it.

My trip resulted in the postcards above but I didn't find anything on my travels so perhaps time to try again to do the Global Shop.

At last anti tidyness!

Are you a slob? Good you are more productive!

Little Sparta

now seems to have an official website. Plus a minibus service once a week but only starting in June.

Standing in our own shadows

Our shadows are elongated on the ground; the things that we ourselves are holding are making shadows that cast us in darkness. I could write that book, but… I could finish my PhD, but…. Shadows all, cast by ourselves.
I wonder if I am casting my own shadows all the time and don’t realize it. Am I constantly shifting to the left to get out of a shadow that I, in fact, have cast? Am I holding up something that blocks my own sun?
“Alas! must it ever be so? Do we stand in our own light, wherever we go, And fight our own shadows forever?” wrote Lord Edward Robert Bulwer Lytton. We are fighting our own shadows. Need it be forever?
“Thus shadow owes its birth to light,” wrote John Gay in The Persian, Sun, and Cloud. Enjoy the light and embrace your shadow. If you turn away from the light, you’ll never see the shadows. Don’t blame the shadow on others. Sometimes others overshadow us, but often we are standing in our own sun. Sometimes, we are holding things up in front of us that block the sun. Just sometimes.

from 37 days

10 things I have learned

from Milton Glaser via Keri Smith.

Hermits & Termits

I was early for an appointment and took the opportunity to spend 15 mins exploring a part of Edinburgh which I never normally go to.

I went to St Leonard's at first attracted to seeing Salisbury Crags and Arthur's Seat ( I do find it amazing that there is such a large geological phenomenon right in the heart of our city). St Leonard's is also famous for being the polis station of Inspector Rebus! But what attracted me was going up close to Hemits and Termits a lovely 18th Centuary Villa which is surrounded by flats and tenements - it seems to have been forgotten and over looked. I took some photographs and for the first time saw that in front there was a monument to the Battle of Waterloo. See what you miss in a car or bus? Then I caught my breath for 5 mins on a thoughtfully placed bench before going on with my day.

where did my creative oomph go?

I fear I may have left it on the bus. I've been quite unbalanced recently work is taking over and the creative bits are being squeezed and becoming a bit pedestrian.

I've tried to take this into hand. A splurge on medium format film at the weekend. A delightful discovery of a wool stash for my next crafty project. But I think I need to organise an Adventure. A bit of travel always perks up my creative oomph.

When the blahs hit I find treating myself to some creative supplies, adding in some 'artist dates' ie seeking out the new and different help to revive the spirit.

In the meanwhile Wishcasting.

How to be an explorer of the world

1. Always be looking (notice the ground beneath your feet)
2. Consider everthig alive & animate
3. Everything is interesting
4. Alter your course often

13 things to consider over at Keri Smith

My first thought was how all of them could be related to the practice of photography and secondly how many of them relate to the artistic practice of my friend S in London. She takes a space and explores its memories and brings them out. Often places which look most bland like hospitals are built on poorhouses and have a rich and traumatic history but their surface would deny this.

quiet due to

spring cleaning, in a very slow fashion. But found a whole load of stuff I didn't realise I had more wool which is handy for a creative crafty project. Being out and about in the cold spring air. I'm going for a picnic this afternoon but indoors!

The normal way of living

Yes at last a book of real interiors.

Knitted inspiration MasonDixon Knitting. Find US knitting blogs much more inspiring.

Now this really isn't a very good picture but its my completed baby blanket for my niece - the one L helped me sew up recently. It looks much better in the wool so to speak.

Spring

A great post by Keri Smith on the coming of Spring and the importance of it.

Learning

The Holga pictures which I've posted below are only the second lot of holga photographs I've processed. The first lot I did on Boxing Day two years ago after getting my new camera. Then I mislaid the holga in my flat. Any way it resurfaced a few months ago - luckily as my lomo is in need of repair. I've taken about 10 rolls since but have only had the money to process on roll. I took out the holga last week to photograph my Global AD as suggested by Michael Nobbs on an email group we are both on. In the end I didn't find anything I wanted to buy enough so didn't complete that part of the AD but did take photos of the two charity/secondhand shops I visited. I struggled changing the film looking at that view of the Castle before I could take a photo. It was so cold that day but unusually bright. I'm used to my lomo and the way it affects picture colours. I thought my holgas would have the same kind of intense colours. I didn't realise that they would come out so blurry and indistinct.

When I first got my lomo I put many many films in which never came out at all. Yes entire rolls of film came back blank. It was a long time before I got the feel for the mechanism and became at one with my lomo. I realise I'm at the same stage with my holga I'm going to have to go on a long learning curve with it. Being creative needs a learning curve often quite long where you allow yourself to 'waste' film and experiment and experiment and learn. Too many people have a low threshold for learning and never get to grips with a new technique or a skill as they sheer repetitiveness of getting something right is something they will not allow themselves some patience.

However my day of mixed results was lovely I walked around town soaked in sights, tried on a few items, enjoyed the fresh air, had tea and cheesecake, bought a glossy magazine. Learning can be pleasurable.

Finally if I remove my blinkers about what I think these pictures ought to look like and just look as them as they are - are they really that bad? Again we torture ourselves when creating but instituting in our heads a way our creations should be instead of accepting what we do create might be different but is it any lesser? I'm reminded of being in an edit suite and looking at what rushes are available. The worst attitude is to sit and say 'Why didn't we get X' but instead to work with what is there.

Holgas

Great post by Danny Gregory - very very funny.

Posie Gets Cozy

going the grannie-along - that is crocheting one of those traditional blankets with squares. Her colour selection is utterly delicious.

Deidre is back!

Who is Deidre? My double... I've never met her but first came across her a few years ago when someone ran down the street shouting 'Deidre ! Deidre!' and seemed puzzled that a) I was reluctant to stop and b) when I did stop that I was not actually Deidre. Well today I was early for an appointment so sat in the window of a cafe on South Clerk St. A bus pulled up the lights and an Asian woman banged and waved her arms at me and mouthed 'See you next Wednesday' and I mouthed back and shrugged my shoulders 'I've no idea who you are '. Yes I did look around the cafe to check that there wasn't someone right behind me cheerfully reciprocating - but no I was the only one in it. My conclusion ... Deidre is back ! and she's meeting someone on Wednesday. I'll keep you posted.

This may be an image of the inside of my head at the moment. A morass of things shifting about with no clear picture.

Magnum the photographers collective

now has a blog

the lights on Manley Beach

Victorian terraced house Surrey Hills Sydney

Knitting again

or at least sewing up a bunch of squares I'd made of this pattern to make a baby blanket for the new niece. I'd began to suffer a 'fear of finishing' - do other knitters have this problem? So I invited L to an impromptu Stitch and Bitch to get over it. We laid out the squares on my kitchen table. Rearranging them to get the best effect. Got out out needle and thread and ate cake and got to work. L left before it was finished but I did the last few seams while watching TV. I have to say it looks pretty damn good. I took it to my mom today to transport to niece and she will crochet a border tonight. I've taken a photo and hope it comes out because 'eat your heart out Kaffe Fassett!'

~~~~

Made me wonder if there are any other situations where asking for someone to do something alongside you would help? Quilting and sewing bees are traditional. But what about taxathons? Swapping gardening. I've had a friend report swapping about to help out in decluttering. I'm sure there are creative situations which could be helped out as well especially the fear of starting. Sometimes it helps to phone someone or email and say 'I'm starting X - wish me luck' and then to check in again afterwards.

Lunar Eclipse

I did go out adventuring and saw it over Portobello. I sat perched for a while on a groin watching it. Very red over the city. I took a few photos but I'm pretty sure they won't come out.

However it was wonderful sitting there listening to the surf pound the beach. Like an eternal heartbeat, then in the distance the lighthouses in the dark, the lights in Fife, the flares from Grangemouth.

Just before I left to get the bus I had a 'can I be bothered moment'. However I stood quite a while waiting for a bus (I didn't time things quite right). As I stood there I thought I saw a cat cross the road. It was actually a fox. He/she passed less than 4 foot away from me and trotted across the Links into the dark. I would have missed all that if I'd not roused myself.

moon eclipse tonight?

One of my students told me about it yesterday so I'm hoping that it will be clear enough to see it tonight. Apparently it should occur abou 10.45.

The State Theatre Sydney where I got my lomo repaired when I was staying there.

Keri Smith is doing one creative thing a day for a month. Check it out at her blog.

one is an aunt!

9.40am yesterday. I've googled for info about being a good aunt and they internet failed to provide me with any guidance though I did find a blog for 'Aunt Mary.'

caffineated art

Expresso Art via Megnut

Felicia C Sullivan

I just came across her blog via Alex.

Habit breaking

One of the problems I find is that I get in a rut. Its very easy to do. Suddenly one realises that you're making the same 4 recipes over and over again. You see the same friends over and over again. You travel the same routes and life seems 'blah'.

I'm deliberately trying to change my habits. Somethings are small change my seat, move around the room. Somethings big - change my thought habits 'maybe it will work out'.

On Friday I got a different buses to and from work. I sat on the top deck - I normally sit at the bottom. I got a totally new perspective on the journey. I was able to look down into the woods, get new vistas. On the journey home I was 'entertained' by a delightful conversation by two young women - one complaining about being thrown out of her flat, consuming some compensation money on drugs, more complaining about being sent back to jail, and finally how she would just get some more money by stealing it. I'm beginning to understand how people become more right wing as they grow older. I'm also remembering while I usually sit on the lower deck! The upper deck used to be the smoking section of the bus. This was stopped in Edinburgh about 10 years ago but still has this residual air of being the undesirable part of the bus with the undesirable inhabitants....

Meanwhile go here Little Birds crafty blog via Andrea Scher.

Arvon Foundation has a new programme out. Fantastic courses for beginner writers also poetry, biography, crime, lit novel, sci fi, cookery, screenwriting (Film, TV , Radio) playwriting, and all in gorgeous places. Generous bursaries for those in need.

HKhandknit a great shop in Bruntsfield Edinburgh for the knitter.

I live most days now in a world of dessert, rewards and rest first, during and after.

Robyn Posin

Yes this is what I'm working towards. I'm off to walk on the beach then I'll come back and tackle some of the things I have to do.

found it !

Sensory world of colour

I've realised recenly I've been caught up in language, explaining things, writing things and planning things rather than experincing life.

I had a discussion about a work project where the subject of colour came up and I launched into a description of one of Anne Redpath's paintings of an orange chair - unfortuantly I can't find a reproduction of it but the combination of black/pink/acidy yellow is amazing enough here.

I've got to get out of my head.

karmageddon

Cool to be kind: Spreading a little happiness

Published: 21 February 2007 The Independent

The boy in the hooded top sizes me up. "Wanker!" he says. "Perv!" shouts his mate. "Paedo!" laughs another. I look deep into their adolescent eyes, and deliver my pre-scripted reply: "Are you sure you don't just need a good hug?" Apparently, they don't. The boys disappear into the Oxford Street crowds, and I carry on walking up the pavement, holding a large sign that offers sympathetic hugs to any Monday afternoon shoppers who might "really need it".

To most passers-by in this part of central London, I must look like another lonely oddball going about his daily business. But most passers-by would be wrong. Despite the "hug me" sign and plastic smile, I do not crave love and affection; instead I'm a slightly embarrassed investigative reporter taking part in a serious social experiment.

Today is Ash Wednesday, when western Christians celebrate the start of Lent. In keeping with tradition, millions of Britons will forego one of life's treats (chocolate, alcohol, sweets, etc) for 40 days and 40 nights.
This year though, things are different. Reasoning, rightly, that most resolutions add nothing to the sum of human happiness, the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, has launched a campaign to rebrand Lent. Its name is, "Love Life, Live Lent".

The principle behind his brainchild is simple. Instead of giving something up, Anglicans are encouraged to spend time each day being "generous to yourself, your neighbours, and the world". Like good boy scouts, followers must do one good deed each day.

To help them, the Church of England has published a book of "simple actions" that followers can perform during Lent, and invited churchgoers to sign up for text message alerts, in which they will be contacted with one act of kindness to perform each day between now and Easter.

It will provide a religious take on an intriguing international trend. In recent years, in different corners of the globe, several movements have sprung up inviting followers to combat the selfishness of modern life by doing nice things to random strangers.
Today, I want in on the act. In one 24-hour period, I shall attempt to carry out all 40 of the church's acts of kindness. With luck, it will make a small difference to the daily life of a handful of complete strangers, and provide me with a warm glow.

Yet it may also help answer some big questions. Are random acts of kindness an enduring human trait? Can we find time to perform them in the hurly-burly of modern life? Will those on the receiving end really care?
First, I must walk up Oxford Street carrying a silly sign. You see, one of the 40 "actions" I must perform is to "hug someone who needs it". A few minutes later, I find my man. Mutu works near Oxford Circus Tube station, holding up a sign pointing towards a golf sale. He's cold, bored, and he earns minimum wage. If anyone needs a hug, it is Mutu. And after a bit of talking, he agrees.

I hold tight, share some love, and ask him to smile for a camera. Then I offer him some fruit. He accepts, which is helpful, because it allows me to "give someone an apple", number 14 on the list. That's two acts of kindness down, 38 to go.

If you put your mind to it, carrying out acts of kindness can start as soon as you wake up. You can be kind to people in different parts of the country, or on the other side of the world, or even be kind to the planet itself, without leaving your home.

So I "turn off the tap when I clean my teeth", drink an ethical coffee (I've been instructed to "buy a Fairtrade product") having only "filled the kettle with the water I need". I forego a bacon sandwich in favour of muesli, since this is an opportunity to "have a meat-free day".

In keeping with the Archbishop of Canterbury's sandal-wearing public image, many of his "simple actions" are aimed at combating climate-change, or otherwise helping the environment. This Lent, he advises Anglicans to "put on a jumper and turn down the heat in your house", and to "buy a low-energy lightbulb". Oh, and "don't leave the TV or hi-fi on standby".

I do all of the above in a jiffy. Yet however helpful or nice, or eco-friendly these small domestic acts are, they are really just a warm-up act for the main event of being randomly kind to strangers.

That very important task involves leaving the house and heading off into our capital city, a journey during which I tick off number seven - "give up my place to someone who is in a rush". Modern commuter-train etiquette is a tricky subject - the comedian Jimmy Carr never gives up his seat since (he says) it's better to see four pregnant women standing than one fat girl sitting down in tears - but we get there in the end.

I hurry to Oxfam on Marylebone High Street, because I'm looking to "give a friend a good book or CD", and quickly get very lucky. They're selling a Kim Wilde cassette for 49p, the greatest Bee Gees album ever (The Very Best of the Bee Gees) for £2.99, and EastEnders' Mike Reid's groundbreaking autobiography T'rific for £4.50.

All told, it's bashed into the till for £7.98. I wince. "Could we do a deal?" I ask. Libam, the volunteer behind the counter, isn't sure. "Since I'm buying three of them, how about we call it £10." He pauses. "OK, OK," I say. "I'll give £12, but that's my final offer."

Libam agrees. "Thank you very much," he says, not handing me any change. "Not at all," I reply. I've just managed to "buy something at the local charity shop, and reverse haggle". Another tick.

Next, it's off to Leicester Square, to "plant some seeds where the flowers will be seen". I also draft a quick note to Westminster council, informing it of what I've just done. I'd been asked to "visit a park and then write to the council to tell them what you think".

Next I manage (illegally) to "feed the birds" in Trafalgar Square. I also visit a phone box to make a call to "find out about blood or organ donation" and "leave a £1 coin where someone will find it", just above the receiver. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Finally, I find some half-price daffodils in Waitrose and give a bunch to a local flower-seller. The recipient of the attempt to "purchase a buy-one-get-one-free and give the free one away" is called Chris and comes from Eastern Europe, so our brief encounter also constitutes "having a conversation with someone from a different culture".

Like most good ideas, the "Love Life, Live Lent" campaign began life in a pub. Five years ago, the comedian Danny Wallace founded an organisation known as the Karma Army, which now boasts several thousand members. Its purpose is to carry out one random act of kindness each Friday.
Wallace chronicled the birth of his movement in the book Join Me!, and has given the CoE permission to use some of his suggested charitable acts - known as "Good Fridays" - in its literature for the current project.
"We tend to brush kindness under the carpet, or lose our nerve, or worry people might think we're odd if we go up to a stranger and do something nice," Wallace tells me. "But everyone wins from kindness. The person being kind gets a buzz from it, as much as the person on the receiving end benefits.

"It's win-win. There's so much cynicism, but what you realise is that there's much more fun to be had in being nice to people."

With this in mind, I walk to Borough Market to "use local shops rather than supermarkets". In Neal's Yard Dairy, I grab some stilton, and ask the assistant to let me pay for the girl behind me, thus managing to "buy something for someone anonymously".

Then, having gazed longingly at butchers' vans being unloaded (meat is still verboten) it's off to nearby Southwark Cathedral, where I can tick off the requirement to "find an open church and pay it a visit", and also to "spend some time in silence".

In the coffee shop, I meet the magnificently named Reverend Tina Turner, the vicar of St Christopher's in Croydon, south London. She takes me back into the cathedral to "light a candle and pray for someone", before agreeing to "read St John's Gospel, chapter 19" to me. It's a harrowing, slightly gory passage covering the trial and persecution of Jesus.

To clear our heads, we "go for a walk with friends in the neighbourhood", allowing me to "pick up litter", and quiz Ms Turner on some of my misgivings about the random acts of kindness the church has suggested.
Is it not dangerous for the church to suggest that "having a TV-free day" (as I am) or giving up meat for 24 hours is always a good thing? Doesn't this suggest that watching telly is immoral? Or that hamburgers are the food of the Devil?

"I don't think it's about moral versus immoral," she responds. "It's about doing something different from what you'd normally do, and asking yourself why don't I do this more often?

"The traditional purpose of giving things up in Lent is to help self-examination and penitence. The idea is to give something up so you can focus on God. But it's become watered-down: you have the self-denial, but not the other side of the coin - self-examination. The kindness campaign is about focusing on the other side of that coin."

As we say our goodbyes, a case in point. Outside a local coffee shop, I spot a man in his fifties enjoying a drink. I ask whether I can sit next to him, explaining that it would be nice to "have a conversation with someone from a different generation". He agrees. His name is John.

John is house-hunting, since bailiffs are attempting to evict him from his current dwelling. The landlord failed to keep up payments on his mortgage. "Fortunately, my wife works at the Belgian embassy so we've been able to claim diplomatic immunity," he says. "They can't turf us out. But I don't want to stay there for ever, so here I am."
John is already a devotee of random acts of kindness. He tries to do one every day, and says it makes him feel great. "Even if it's a miserable old cow in the post office, if you can make her smile when you're paying for a stamp, you've done something worthwhile. I've been doing it for years, but I don't think of it as a random act of kindness. I think of it as being human."

And in a way, he has a point.

Today, British churchgoers will be texted with the first of their 40 instructions, and it will be to "make someone laugh". I begin my search for laughter by ticking off another instruction: "go to a party". John Bird, founder of The Big Issue, has invited friends to the Halcyon Gallery in Mayfair, to launch an exhibition by Robert Lenkiewicz.

The event offers a chance to "say something nice about someone behind their back" and "make a drink for a friend or colleague" (or at least pour one). It also allows John to share his favourite joke with me: "There's a new Liverpudlian version of Silence of the Lambs coming out... it's called "Shut Up, Youse".

If anyone understands kindness, it ought to be Bird, whose homelessness charity is underpinned by the generosity of Big Issue readers and donors. "An act of kindness is a kind of encapsulation of humanity," he says. "If you are nice to an animal, you are expressing humanity. If you are nice to a person, you are also expressing humanity. When someone asked Plato what the purpose of life is, he replied that it's love. And kindness is just one step removed from love.

"It's a universal thing, too. Even in the darkest days of Rwanda or the Holocaust there's always little acts of kindness. It's funny, but people do these little things. You can never be paid for it. There's never a motive. It's just something you do."

To Bird and other believers, random acts of kindness affirm our existence. Some, like the decision to "ring a loved one" (my mum, on the way home) or "do a chore for someone" (dishes for my flatmate, when I get there) are things we do every day.

Others, like the moth I later liberate in an effort to "help a bug out of the house rather than squash it", or the cream tea I forewent earlier, in order to "miss a meal and pray instead", are things most people would class as a one-off.

Yet doing all of them, and thinking about why (I must "now write to someone [the Rev Tina] and thank them") teach us that modern life doesn't have to be all miserable, unfriendly, and selfish. And it's rather uplifting.

The clock passes 1am before I reach the end of the list of kindness. I have just tried to "bake something and share it" (wrong flour makes it inedible), and now only one task remains: "phone someone to say goodnight".
Feeling a warm glow of self-satisfaction (though I can't tell whether it's from simply finishing the list, or actually helping people), I call Mutu, the billboard man I hugged earlier in the day, and leave a message.
Sadly, he never replies. Kind I may be, but deep down I suspect that he probably thinks I'm completely mad.

Who else is spreading the joy?
Small Kindness Movement
www.kindness.jp/english/
The Small Kindness Movement was born in Japan in the 1960s, "while the Japanese society was undergoing rapid post-war development [and] young people were missing their ideals and purposes of life, their energy [being] poured into student movements". A Professor Kaya instead urged people to be kind, "so that it will become the habit of our society".
World Kindness Movement

http://www.worldkindness.org.sg/
The Singapore-based WKM, which is funded by the government, was formed in 1997 and established a World Kindness Day (13 November).Activities include a Courtesy Campaign, which suggests good manners for every situation.

Bright Smile Movement
http://www.smilekorea.org/
The South Korean BSM's website says: "Korea also have suffered from invasions more than 930 through 5,000 years' history, ruled under Japan, war between same people, division, dictatorship, IMF, etc. Our nation was the one of most unfortunate people in the world. But Korean have overcome tribulations with smile keeping hope. We want to share the power... of creating smile."

Extreme Kindness Crew
http://www.extremekindness.com/
Formed in 2001 in the wake of 9/11, this foursome have clocked up 50,180 acts of kindness - from giving out free fruit, to massaging strangers, tiling roofs and breaking in wild horses - and have also staged kindness "protests".

Chloe's Peace Brigade
www.matthew7.org/view/?pageID=316629
"Welcome, everyone, to our groovy gravy Peace Brigade booklet sort of thing," begins Chloe's teenage treatise on why we should all smile, pay compliments to our enemies and clean our rooms, first posted online last September. "Just because we're not adults doesn't mean we can't help change the world," she continues, before suggesting a page full of kindness tips for teens.

The Scary Guy, aka 'the new face of love'
http://www.thescaryguy.com/
The intro on Scary Guy's website announces: "I've got one mission and one mission only, the total elimination of hate, violence and prejudice. Worldwide." This American biker's anti-bullying school tours have been greeted rapturously.

Free Hugs Guy
http://www.freehugscampaign.org/
The Australian known as Juan Mann ("one man") began by holding up a placard offering "free hugs" in Sydney and became a global phenomenon after a friend posted a video of Juan on YouTube. "It's a way to make people smile," he says.

UK Kindness organisations:
The Karma Army (http://www.join-me.co.uk/)
British organisers of Karmageddon, an annual London festival of RaoK (random acts of kindness).
Kindness Scotland (http://www.kindnesscotland.co.uk/)
Scottish members of the WKM. The organisation runs, among other activities, the Kind Kids Scheme.
Campaign for Courtesy (http://www.campaignforcourtesy.org/)
Formerly the Polite Society, it has themed campaigns each year, for example "politeness in sport".
Act Against Bullying (http://www.actagainstbullying.com/)
This member of the UK Kindness Movement has initiated "B Decent for a Day", with the strapline, "it's cool to be kind".
Kate Burt

Ebb and Flow

I was surfing last night and Loobylu is taking a blogging break. However after a long hiatus Michael Nobbs is back. Welcome back Michael!

Real Men Knit

In haste... TOO MUCH

I woke up quite early but the morning ran away with me. A long discussion with my flatmate, two pots of coffee and re-reading Eric Maisel's Coaching the Artist Within. I ordered it last week and picked it up from my favourite indpendent bookshop last thursday. I read it on the train to Glasgow and ping ping ping! lots of sudden shifts of opinion (self opinion) about creative projects started to go off in my head. Perhaps I'm just in the right place to be taking it in. But its good - all good. Eric is a very very wise teacher not afraid to tell a student just what they want to hear and don't want to hear. I'm willing to listen now.

In the meanwhile as I go through my to do list written on scrap of orange paper. Please think about TOO MUCH - what is just TOO MUCH?

I had a terrible terrible day last week. A I'm sitting on the bus and I'm nearly crying kind of Day. I rescued the day. Partly by actually picking up Eric's book, having lovely lunch, meeting a friend. Then this weekend I had a whole series of more treats which ameliorated the no good day. Nice soap hunting, stamps to write to people, searching for Green Jasmine Tea at the Chinese supermarket (£1.10!) and luscious trips with a friend to Glasgow and then to see a film last night with another friend. Somewhere along the line a small snarky voice piped up. 'Isn't this too self indugent? Too much Fun?' Yes I may have had TOO MUCH FUN. But I also dug myself out of a hole, got an idea for a creative project ( a fun creative project) and reconnected with a whole section of my life which has been in abeyance (networking but fun). In reality amongst the fun I've done stuff which can be construed as 'work' or 'productive' but in reality I would not have done if I had just rejected the too much activities. Instead of working of course I would have been in a miserable unproductive heap.

What is 'Too Much' for you?

What would really happen if you had 'Too Much' for yourself?

Try it

The results might surprise you....

due to my inabilty to spell

... I've failed to direct you to my friend Rhiannon's website before...

Top 10 Dalai Lama Tips

from Lifehacker.org

Handmade Books

One of my students Kirsty O'Connor is offering classes in Edinburgh at her studio at Patriothall, Stockbridge in making your own books. Class starts 27th February for the afternoon one and March 1st for the evening one (both 6 weeks long). Contact her on 669 5408 or email on kirstyoconnor@phonecoop.coop In addition there s a one day workshop on sunday 18th March 10-4pm.

"We are not automatic lovers of self, others, world, or God. Love does not just happen. We are not love machines, puppets on the strings of a deity called 'love.' Love is a choice--not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile. Love is a conversion to humanity--a willingness to participate with others in the healing of a broken world and broken lives. Love is the choice to experience life as a member of the human family, a partner in the dance of life, rather than as an alien in the world or as a deity above the world, aloof and apart from human flesh." --Carter Heyward, Passion for Justice

from Jennifer Louden's Self Care Minder 14th February 2006