Thursday, January 25, 2007

Strategies, guidelines and rules of connecting

This is from NotSalmon (Karen Salmonsen's website) newsletter.

"All things being equal, people like to do business with theirfriends. All things being not quite so equal, people STILL wantto do business with their friends." says Jeffrey Gitomer, author of "The Little Black Book ofConnections."
In his book, Gitomer lists "17. 5 strategies, guidelines andrules of connecting." Here are a few of my faves to ponder:

1. Project your self-image in a way that breeds confidence. Everything from your hair to your shoes sends a message.

2. Your ability to look someone in the eye as you speak is a telltale sign of both self-respect and truthful speaking. Make eye contact.

3. No connection is made without some form of risk. Dare yourself. Take the risk to make the connection.

4. The less you focus on your motive to meet someone, the more likely it is that your connection will be successful. Drop your agenda. Focus on connecting - not extracting.

5. Take a genuine interest in people before you ask them to take a genuine interest in you.

6. The sooner you find something in common with the other person, the sooner barriers will vanish.

7. Your projected image is what mostly determines your ability to make a real connection.

8. Provide a value-exchange. Give if you want to receive.

9. Staying in touch is more important than making the initial connection.

10. Be authentic: Talk real, act real, be real, and you will find others will do the same in return.

My emphasis.

One of the exercises I give to my students is to take plastic bag empty it out on the table and ask them to choose 5 postcards they like and to write to 5 people they would love to hear from. 'This is stupid' I heard one muttering the last time I did it. But at the same time that we would like to recieve from the world support for our creative projects, money, connections, inspiration we have to give back to the world and one of the ways is making unexpected and uncalled for connecting. Its not exactly 'networking' but connecting covers it better. The more we are connected to ourselves and to other people - its like we have plugged ourselves into the universal flow.

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