Inspiration boards - interesting interviews with creative types.

after a suggestion by Ink on My Fingers

European Cake Project - I'm not sure what the Scottish cake would be - a nice Dundee cake perhaps stuffed with fruit? I think a Victoria Sponge is more English. Maderia m'dear?

Yesterday I had a stange ache all over. Spent most of the day in bed with the radio for company. Today I feel much better and sat outside reading in the sunshine. I'm about to tackle homemade bagels as they need to be made at a 'at home day'.

Bonus links

Keri Smith's How to Be an Explorer of the World

Time Management for Creative People

9 Insane Strategies for Transforming Your Business

Cross processed holga of Covent Garden in the rain

I had to go to London to get my films processed..... seriously I've been on a 6 month trudge around processing places in Edinburgh trying them out. Rather like a Princess and pea, they are too expensive, not in the right format, just bleugh ! I treck 500 miles and not only do the pictures seem better but the service was polite ...

A good time was had. Taking in a bit of culture (Wolfgang Tilmans) a bit of socialising, a job interview (highlight the teenage foxes beside the railway track and having to walk down 'Goldfinger Way' to the office) and lying on Parliament Hill in the evening sun picnicing.

Dumbofeather - 4 years ago I picked up the first issue in Sydney when I was staying there. I loved the look of it. Its beautifully designed and has great inspiring content about creative people forging ahead and making a difference. I've tried to find it online without success but just before I went to London I stumbled across it and found that it is now available to buy in london at Magma. I braved the monsoonlike rains and failed to find it in Convent Garden - I'd stupidly not written down the address of the shop. I slowly made my way towards Shaftsbury after getting throughly lost and found it by accident! The current issue has an article on Sabrina Ward Harrison, a soap maker, novelist, shoe repairer and a social entrepreneur. 

the slow lane

Having a slow morning - good after 2 months plus of going pell mell.

Australian slow guide to life.

Also Seat 61 a guide to travelling in style by train.

A miserable and dreary wet day here. I foolishly on Thursday said to a friend that my many years of clothes angst had been vanquished. I had now been able to go out and find nice, flattering clothes in my size after a change in attitude (the attitude before being that I wouldn't find anything and it therefore becoming a self fulfilling prophecy.

HA ! said the Universe and I've spent a fruitless day trailing about trying to find a jacket for an interview - A Very Important Interview. It monsooned down as I trailed wearily between shops. I did manage to get a bag, shoes and an umbrella but no jacket.

Great interview with Patti Digh of 37 Days.

strange creatures living in Liberty's

Today there wasn't enough work in the office so instead of surfing aimlessly or worse checking out facebook I went to personnel and suggested we have an afternoon off and come back when the work was more plentiful. Some how on the way into town towards lunch H suggested this place she had read about in the Times. Yes ! I remembered the same article - indeed I'd remembered his original venture Pierre Victoire. I knew were it was located so we marched down there. Avoiding Paperchase (its just about the dream of being organised I realise - expensively). It was a simply lovely day in Edinburgh. We got to Chez Pierre about 1.45 nabbed a window table immediately went over the £6 fixed budget by opting for a glass of wine each. Oh but it was delish. Ravenous we hardly spoke at all. My rose so fruity and fresh I'm afraid that I drunk it rather quickly. And as I rarely drink at all got quite tipsy in no time at all. We began to expand on the subject of our various businesses and career adventures. I'm waiting for something to come off or not (currently not) I'm an impatient woman. Despairing slightly (ok ok I was tipsy). If this did not come off then I would have to do that etc etc. A note book was produced a calculator - tipsy calculations were made. Then they were abandoned as a friends' mother spied us in the window and she came in and had a class of wine. Much merriment. Then we finally left at 4.30. A very French meal I thought later. And even later realised helped me to just chill out about the something. If one thing happens it happens if not, not. In the meanwhile I want to hold onto the intention that the kind of work life I want includes 2 1/2 hour plus lunches.

Werner Herzog on Filmmaking

"Herzog gave me a quick run-down of his tips on how to be a successful film-maker: “Work as a bouncer in a sex club, work as a taxi driver, work as a butcher – earn the money and make your own film. Today, with these little digital cameras, there is no excuse any more.” Herzog stole his first camera and ended up using it to make 11 films. “It fulfilled its real destiny,” he says. "From here

ordinary everyday miracles

Today on the way home I looked over the fence and saw a teenage rabbit nibbling on municipal rose leaves beside one of the busiest streets in Edinburgh. So cute, so unconcerned apart from getting the freshest newest leaves into its mouth. I got the bus to Portobello walked on the beach and on the way back to the bus stop stopped to smell each rose poking over the fences of the gardens I passed.

I love park plantings.

Off to bed with a new book. Feels indulgent.

"... You need to realize something else: you can lead a perfectly good and satisfactory life even if you are not a writer (artist). When I figured that out I could be perfectly happy and not be a writer, I became a better writer. The unhappiest people in the world may be the ones who think their happiness depends on artistic success of some kind." Wendell Berry via Keri Smith

I know that my happiness has more to do with seeing The Cutest Niece  (TM) eating blueberries by hand this evening. Watching a fantastic film last night Encounters at the End of the World, my cat sleeping on me, a perfectly ripe nectarine and knowing I'm meeting a friend for lunch.

This evening my work computer had a nervous breakdown and decided to rebuild my mailboxes. Reimporting my work emails - 17,005 individual emails - took 20 mins. I've only been there since mid April. Friday the 13th was the day when the server went down and after two days working over the weekend I'm still finding crucial bits of information missing which might mean if I don't fix it people might not have a place to stay. Yes Homeless ! Sleeping in the park !left work early tonight at 10.15.

What has sent me over the edge today was nothing to do with work as such but a friend who has been sending me emails demanding the phone number of another friend who I didn't want to pass on but I did tell friend C that friend B wanted her to get in touch. One reason amongst many that I didn't give her the phone no being that I don't actually have the phone no of said friend C with me. Bugger me but remembering to haul myself to work and deal with the 400 or so guests keeps me well occupied. Of course she sent me an email which sent me over the edge this morning. I forgot the sane council of some and tartly replied and put her on my junk email option. I wonder a) is there something wrong with me b) is there something wrong with B c)Is this what happens when you set boundaries ?and d)I don't wonder I know I HATE being a go between. Its the 21st centuary you have the option, of writing, emailing and god love you even visiting a person in the flesh in addition to phoning someone. So get off your arse and do so.

PS promise I'll go back to my hiatus

I promised H this photie yesterday. Been taking loads recently just walking to and from places doing errands.

Will probably be on a mini hiatus until July due to work pressues.

Grief ~ over the past few days, perhaps even weeks, a profound grief has been nagging me, tugging at my skirt, catching me in moments where I can't shake it off. Postponed grief cannot be put at bay forever. I spent a lot of time with my dead friend doing the work I am doing now. She knows or knew exactly the pressures I'm under right now. She knows the lack of time, racing to do things, check things, she would sympathise with the sheer waste of time in meetings as our deadline moves inexorably closer. I sit and look at documents whose aesthetics would have her birling in her grave if she saw them.

I miss her

I miss her

I miss her

I miss her

I left work at 11.15 pm today. Outside I could see a strange glow in the sky -cloud shapes.

As I walked towards my bus stop the grief rose and when I left the bus again I walked under the trees wracked by tears. I walked into the park silent and empty of people and I scanned the sky for the moon. I thought if I see the moon I will be comforted.

I saw the moon and the grief is still with me. I got a message on my answerphone from a friend's husband - she has just given birth to a baby girl. Life goes on but we grieve for those who are not with us and the parts of ourselves that they represent.

Soho door - the sign says 'NO Prostitutes here'

chocolates for the tired soul - display of Prestat in Liberty's

There is something about a green door and a red frame. On the bus I am mostly attracted by the colours of doors and their frames. The placement of doors beside each other. What this betrays psychologically beats me except for a longing perhaps to step into another dimension another way of being, another life.

~~~~~~

Had a no good wrong kind of day the kind where speaking to particular people engenders rage - with in seconds. Looking at the green door and the red frame and reconfiguring ones mind is becoming essential to survival.

Now if only the fire safety info had not been stuck on that lovely red hose reel. I was so tempted to peel it off.

Jaunt to Kirriemuir

Yesterday took the train to Cupar - fabulous wonderful views over the Forth crossing the Forth Rail Bridge and Fife was looking very lush and green. Then a friend and I drove to Kirriemuir (birthplace of JM Barrie). A dear wee place almost like a model village. Beautiful vernacular sandstone architecture on a small hillock. We were there to go to the Bank St Gallery and see R's exhibition. She had recommended a cafe in the same street 88 degrees. Which was fab, great food, wonderful service and Vogue magazines to read. Afterwards we hit the charity shops and I scored half price tapestry wool, racking through giant bags of skeins. I can highly recommend Kirriemuir for wool. The British Red Cross seems to be well stocked with mohair by the way. We returned via Dundee and did some clothes shopping.

OK it was the extraordinary contrast between the green walls and the red fire equipment which got me here. I know whoever decorated this staircase at Liberty's was thinking about the two colours singing off each other.

March 08 Liberty's london a display of wooden painted clogs- I think purely decorative I don't think they were being touted as the next big shoe.

I got sandals ! I thought about buying them yesterday but the raingods punished me by raining down on Edinburgh all day - but they seem to have moved to London as no illeffects from my lunchtime trip to the shop.

yesterday

at work - someone came from personnel and said there had been a compaint about how loud my laughter was......

Ghost Bikes

I'm so glad that I've restarted my organic box. I'm a bit overwhelmed by veg as they delivered two weeks in a row but I've contacted them and it will go to everyother week to give me a bit of a breather to use it all up.

Tonight I'm making Leak and Potato soup with Sunflower loaf as a side to be followed by Rubarb and Apple Cumble.

Full time work is really using up my time and energy. I did a few errands today came home and had to have a rest!

I tried to swim on Friday but C and I had got completely befuddled with the opening times of the Vicky Baths in Leith. So instead we hopped on a bus to Porty (collectively whinging about our jobs) and walked by the shore. Quite blustery with lots of white horses. We then had fish and chips - yum!

27 Thoughts on Blogging for Artists

my 1002 post...

Angry Chicken and Shutter Sisters

Would like to write something very penetrating and good. But I'm feeling squeezed by work. Highlights include finding my nice pen which went awol for a few days. I went to dinner on Saturday got v drunk and came home at 3am. By a miracle I got myself the next day to St Margaret's Loch on Holyrood Park for a 'memorial walk' to my friend Rachel who died earlier in the year. The gorse was spectacular the views panoramic, my knees were knackered by walking down the steps to Duddingston. We had lunch at the Sheeps Heid afterwards. I've signed myself up to swim on Friday to see if that will help my aching knees. Meanwhile back to housework and excel sheets.

Bokeh on the tweed?

spectrum

Morsbag - love the idea but longer handles please so we can carry on shoulder?

Go to Jen Lemen's blog and read about her inspiring trip to Rwanda.

Bears Just Want to Have Fun - sorry couldn't resist

Poppytalk - cool stuff blog

The Revolution Will Be Cultivated

Beach Huts !

I said to R ~ "Its stupid but I thought if I have an interesting diary I'll have an interesting year." And she said 'That's a really Russian thing to say."

From DesignDoma

I bought a terribly expensive diary from them for next year - I saw it- and kept on thinking about it so I went back. Its impractical without dates in it and other useful stuff but its illustrated with photos which drew and redrew my eye.

Interesting blog over at Danny Gregory about learning to draw. I'm afraid that I had to weigh in on the comments.

Sydney 2004 Lomo Crown St

I've got stuck into knitting the wool I bought yesterday - a jersey for The Cutest Neice (TM). But I didn't do a swatch and now I'm worried it will be ... HUGE.

May Day

I've been all over town doing errands, picking up book orders, buying wool, cards, soap and a new calligraphy pen. Lunch out - I feel I've had a decadent day. I wrote cards while having lunch and posted them. Edinburgh looked like it was thawing from winter. It was wonderful to pass by the Canongate churchyard and see the blowsy pink cherry blossom.

I'm going to sit outside now with a coffee and sew up the third baby blanket.

Picture above to support the Fight for your right to dry - apparently municipalities are banning people from drying clothes outside because its unslightly. Our planet is frying and these eeejits are concerned about washing outside... Oh and I love this blog Two Shear Spirits.

Been working. But on Thursday I felt better a bit of my energy came back. I've been living in the 'land of the cold' for three weeks now. I went the beach straight after work and walked. Cold but invigorating. My eyes miss the view. Last night I went home shoved a chicken in the oven with potatoes and then dashed to beach. So lovely was able to take off my shoes and walk barefoot. Then I came home to roast chicken for dinner.

I know I know but I just thought I have to post this. Someone looked at their poodle an thought ' yellow and blue top knot I wonder what that would look like?'

Living in full colour

As I sneeze my way through my day this phrase popped into my head and I began to wonder what it meant. What does it mean to live in full colour? I've had periods of my life that felt like wading through grey sludge and it felt like the colours had been turned off. Like on a TV. I'd love to hear what other people think of as 'living in full colour'. Part of me thinks its a ability to live outside the parameters as what everyone else thinks as 'normal'. If you want to eat chocolate cake for dinner do so. If you want to lie on the sofa and read a novel the entire day - do so. If you want to hand knit a baby blanket at 4 times the cost of buying something new then do so. If you want to wear purple wellingtons to private views, care for 25 cats (each with a basket lined with cashmere cardigans from charity shops), have a supply of funky hats for vistors for tea in the garden, keep up a voluminous correspondence, and collect teapots then do so. If you want to commandeer students to drive you to the countryside to collect clay from fields do so. If you husband dies and he's always refused to let you live with your children 5000 miles away get yourself on a plane three weeks later and fly there. If you want to cycle across the widest part of Scotland because its there, do it. Hell if you'd like to cycle around the the coast of Australia do it. Do a degree in English at Cambridge and realise you'd rather be an artist? Take an inheritance and go to Edinburgh Art College and flunk being a teacher in a school (you would have hated refereeing Lacrosse games). If you realise that doing a degree in law is a short walk to being a solictor in a no horse town take you skills and become a film producer.*

'Living in full colour' to my mind is not just about adding a bright ribbon to your life but remaking it the way you want it.

I've love to know what you think.

*
Me
Hendrix-Cat's Mother
Kaytee Horseman Head of Ceramics Department Edinburgh College of Art
My Grandmother
My Brother
My Cousin
My Mother
Rebecca Knapp

Stuck at home ill hence the desire to see pictures of stations. My life has regressed to knitting and bad television. Relieved somewhat by K visiting unexpectedly yesterday and a phonecall this morning out of the blue from C stuck at an airport. I've now got full blown allergies. I've taken drugs but the drugs dont' work. I will tear myself away from the internets and make bagels.

glorious tulips and blossom

Cool reminder by Summer Pierre

Interview with SARK around the importance of self friendship in creativity.

FOR ONE MINUTE PLEASE STAND RIGHT HERE IN SILENCE AND LOOK UP AT THE SKY

Knitting away on the sofa and praying for a good film on the telly. This ill business is terribly boring.



However perusing Knitty and found an article on the history of Virago books.

the lights on Manley Beach

Guerilla Gardening

Pictures of Strangers for R - holga Kinnaird Park Edinburgh

What tips or advice do you have for writers still looking to be discovered?

I can't get behind the ambition to be "discovered" as much as I can get behind the ambition to write beautifully and honorably and steadfastly. Here's what I believe about creativity. I believe that creativity is a living force that thrums wildly through this world and expresses itself through us. I believe that talent (the force by which ephemeral creativity gets manifested into the physical world through our hands) is a mighty and holy gift. I believe that, if you have a talent (or even if you think you do, or maybe even if you just hope you do), that you should treat that talent with the highest reverence and love.
Don't flip out, in other words, and murder your gift through narcissism, insecurity, addiction, competitiveness, ambition or mediocrity. Frankly -- don't be a jerk. Just get busy, get serious, get down to it and write something, for heaven's sake. Try to get out of your own way. Creativity itself doesn't care at all about results -- the only thing it craves is the PROCESS. Learn to love the process and let whatever happens next happen, without fussing too much about it. Work like a monk, or a mule, or some other representative metaphor for diligence. Love the work. Destiny will do what it wants with you, regardless. Just love the work.

Interview with Elizabeth Gilbert

Knitted up my ravelled mind by a) walking on the beach which was suitably stormy which suited my mood no end b) made bagels from scratch.

I feel knackered this cold is dragging on and on and on... however on Friday went to see Shine a Light the Scorsese documentary about the Rolling Stones. It turned out to be more a concert film than doc - though I loved the occasional archive interludes. It was fabulous I was glued to my seat the entire time. I was really bowled over by seeing Mick Jagger perform. Amazing. I'm about 20 years younger and couldn't keep up. What it did make me think was that we should all go off and do what we have a passion for (whether we get paid for it or not) because it makes us alive! open! interesting! and obviously keeps us in better health. I know this but I need to be reminded. Just last week my parents took a 91 year old painter and gardner to lunch. She still paints and gardens at 91 and is in great health, totally mentally on the ball. And I'm sure its being engaged in these two creative acts which have allowed her to carry on being an active creative person.

I then went to meet my friend B for dinner afterwards. Her amazing entreprenurial can do spirit was a good kick up the pants for me. Oh and having lunch with H during the day as well. Thank you both of you. I'm percolating ideas in the tiny tired brain now.

Must go and do over due housework and find Rolling Stones CD.

Bonus: FREAK FLEE REGRESS - or the other Eat Pray Love

Things I have Learned in my Life

Picture from here - via Moonstitches.

I seem to being used as a place/person to be nipped at today. And I don't much like it. Even looking at crochet isn't soothing my soul much. I'm going to take a walk now.

Been busy knitting and assembling the second baby blanket (increasing the needle size has improved productivity no end). Its off having a border put on. I also spent part of Tuesday evening painstakingly removing pieces of fabric from a quilt which I've had since I was a child to see if it could be remade into another quilt. It feels satisifying to be remaking and conserving stuff.

Eardley revisited

I wrote about visiting the exhibition with my friend R earlier in the year. I saw her last night and she said that she'd gone to a neighbours house to return a book (in Glasgow) and for some reason she asked if they had seen the exhibition. Not only had they seen the exhibtion but had lent two pictures for it. They are an elderly couple and it turns out that they had met the Sampson children now grown up at the opening and discovered that the painting they had was of one of the brothers who now lives in Australia. They have now been in correspondence with him (they sent a copy of the picture to him) and he's going to visit them when he next visits Glasgow.

What a great day yesterday. No really it was so nice catching up with two people I haven't seen for months or just briefly in the park.

After my dinner party last week I realised I was in a rut cooking wise. I bought a packet mix to make Indian Butter Chicken Makhani from the chinese supermarket. I made it last night for my friend S and it was delicious. After checking out google I realise I could easily make it from scratch if I bought a few more spices so I'll stock up on those.

A friend sent me this link in the Guardian about artists trying to balance work/money/creativity.

And my old boss is doing a poetry reading tonight in Edinburgh. If I'm not too tired from seeing the last Yiddish film at the Filmhouse today I'm going to try and make it along.

flaneur

Got excited this morning because the book I'd ordered while ill and bored came from Amazon but couldn't read it as off to chiropody and to deliver baby blanket and blue tragic teddy to Ivor-the-baby. After tea with Ivor's mum I made my way back into Edinburgh for a few errands picking up Lush shampoo, organic chicken for tonight and got waylaid into visiting card shops, stocking up on birthday cards, dead sea salts, and finding the new Plaisir du Chocolat shop in Rose St. Luckily it had a sign in the window 'closed until 3.15' so was saved from squandering money there in but I will be back once I've been paid.

cough cough

4th day off work and at home trying to get better. Its not working so far - I'm getting bored and frustrated being at home and frankly - lonely. I broke out yesterday to go to the library and the supermarket. The Michael Pollen book In Defense of Food I'd ordered had come in. Yay 60p to order and costs £16.95 new. Excellent read by the way I now want to buy a copy to press into the hands of friends. And I will start my organic box delivery again in May. I've been online far too much and every now and again phone up friends to annoy them. I thought I'd got over being alone and now realise of course thats just because normally I've very occupied and not alone ! Duh!

In the meanwhile cool links The Art of Nonconformity and Ghostschool.

A love note from Andrea Scher

off to make French toast

Master of your time?

At home today ill again hence much blogging

Practicing the art of Sustainability- Nina Wise

"How do we live on this planet in a way that is harmonious enough to sustain our species as well as the other beings that delight us, feed us, and allow us to breathe?

The answer may lie not only in the way we relate to each other, humans, animals and plants; not only in the way we relate to resources, renewable or unrenewable, but in how we relate to ourselves. What sustains our own being? What is it that enlivens us, brings us joy, enhances equanimity, wisdom, and our capacity to give and receive love?

Awareness is growing that our hunger for possessions, our lust to consume, arises in part, if not entirely, from a craving for well- being. Ironically, that craving is unsatisfied by even the most glamorous and expensive things. The hunger continues unabated. How do we satisfy this craving and find peace?

Sustainability of the species is deeply related to the soul of our being. My greatest pleasure emerges from spiritual practice, art (which involves dancing, singing, poetry and storytelling), being in wild nature, and a community of friends. It is in these experiences that I find the love that sustains me.

I suggest we practice the art of sustainability; of soul sustenance. Let's practice meditating and chanting together, and make the entire conference a work of art. We need to reclaim what we have lost in our deluded worship of the gods of fame, power, and materialism. We need to reclaim play, spontaneity, storytelling, poetry, song and dance. We need to reclaim an intimate relationship with nature as part of our daily lives. We need to reclaim the divine as an integral part of mundane existence, as the core of our being. We need to pay homage to the light of being, the radiance that animates all life."

Notes on Making Art

1. 
   Quality through quantity. Don't get hung up on making this one piece good -- make ten and one will certainly be pretty good.


2. 
   Do NOT mix generating and editing. When you're making a piece, don't stop and get judgmental half-way through. If it's a piece of crap, get that piece of crap out of your system -- don't try to fix it mid-flow. Finish it, move on.


3. 
   When to judge: After you've completed a piece, look at it and decide what direction you want to go in next. Or if you're selecting pieces for submission to a show, apply your critiquing mind then. Make a piece of art; look at it; make another.


4. 
   Don't be afraid to re-use elements. If each piece has to be unique, then you're going to get hung-up when you create some bit that you like. But if you can re-use bits, then you can keep moving.


5. 
   How to have "lots of ideas": permute. Start anywhere. Once a piece is done, try varying some aspect. Think of all the variables that could have permutations.


6. 
   "Get through your first 50 failures as fast as you can." I don't think that we should be shooting for a place where we no longer make crappy art. A good artist is one who's in motion making lots of art -- you only think they're so much better because they produce so much quantity that their pile of "good art" has also been able to accumulate. For every piece of crap you create, you're one step closer to getting something you really like.


7. 
   Don't even bother "fixing" pieces. Making art shouldn't be a struggle. You're simply "thinking out loud" onto the page, photo-paper, or canvas. If a product seems confused, leave it confused. Make another piece where you contemplate whatever issues you were wrestling with. Try something different. When clarity arrives, it will come in one living piece -- not be Frankensteined together out of a single infinitely re-worked, mangled corpse.


8. 
   Work fast. Creativity is exciting. If you're not judging while you're making, then you can just throw things together as fast as your mind can move. You're smart; if you don't like what you've made, you'll know immediately. You might not know what to do about the problem you perceive... Don't "think", standing there cogitating -- try things. If your hands are in motion, you can be generating new permutations. The one that you want to pick will come out on its own time.


9. 
   Let your level show. Let the world know that despite having years of investment in your art form, you're still a beginner who doesn't know it all. Rather than hide your thought process, let your questions be present in your work. You are a fundamentally more interesting artist if people get to see what it is that you're struggling with, rather than just your final answers. Show your work. Talk about what you still can't understand (unapologetically).


10. 
    Don't hide your failures. If you are only willing to show those perfect pieces that you are aspiring towards, you're never going to display / publish your work. Show everything, the worst of the crap included, and let your ego be humbled -- and goaded to create more.

From The Scarlet Letters

Ndeble wall paintings in South Africa. They use a lot of strong colour and bordered by black. Yesterday I picked up my baby blanket which was being finished off at my mothers and as I looked at it I thought it reminded me of something. Then I realised Ndebele wall decoration. The teddy is a 'tragic teddy' knitted by my mother which she as donated for the baby in question.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because the world needs people who come alive." -Harold Whitman (and also often attributed to Henry Miller).

from SelfTaughtGirl

Love that quote and it reminds me of what I need to prioritze in my life. A busy period is coming up in the next few months but important not to neglect my photography and ability to noodle across the city.

Last night I had 11 people over to dinner - I am the most unMartha like hostess. About half an hour before the first guests were to arrive I phoned up one and asked if she could come with chairs. But still I'd over filled my small flat and 3 people had to perch on the sofa in a small kind sub party in the corner. As I was dishing up I realised I was running out of plates - dashed to my understair cupboard and retrieved some more and washed them quickly.

Rather than being perfectly organised I pray that people arrive late as I hurridly sweap floors shove wool into bags attempt to banish signs of life. Mean while the orange double tulips I bought from the supermarket open extravagantly. Then I give up light candles turn off the lights and hope that the slight disarray will engender a cameraderie that a more polished do with chase away.

There is always a point when I wish I'd never got myself into this situation. Why oh why did it seem such a good idea when I clicked on the email addresses and sent out invitations so gaily two weeks ago. And why didn't I start preparing right then and there? STOP ! This is the worst worst repose to life the 'I should have done it right done it better been more organised more x'. The more I relax into what I am rather than what I feel others think I ought to be the easier it is. AND I have more energy - the leakage towards the other way of living is just too much.

Imperfection
I am falling in love
with my imperfections
The way I never get the sink really clean,
forget to check my oil,
lose my car in parking lots,
miss appointments I have written down,
am just a little late.
I am learning to love
the small bumps on my face
the big bump of my nose,
my hairless scalp,
chipped nail polish,
toes that overlap.
Learning to love
the open-ended mysteryof not knowing why
I am learning to fail
to make lists,
use my time wisely,
read the books I should.
Instead I practice inconsistency,
irrationality, forgetfulness.
Probably I should
hang my clothes neatly in the closet
all the shirts together, then the pants,s
end Christmas cards, or better yet
a letter telling ofmy perfect family
But I’d rather waste time
listening to the rain,
or lying underneath my cat
learning to purr.
-by Elizabeth Carlson

There is this fantastic poem over at 37 days which I'm nicking in its entirety

Polaroid Alert!

TopMan in Edinburgh's Princes St is using them as part of a window display. I noticed it today while on the bus coming home.

postcard polaroids

here

great interview with Ianthe Brautigan

on writing memoir.

Tom McGuane had this great thing he told me. We were talking on the phone, and we don't talk often but I was in the middle of the process, and he said, "What are you doing?" And I said, "Well I'm writing a memoir" -- I knew he would disapprove because those guys, they have their own code of things.

CV: He was a friend of your father's?

IB: Yes, he was a friend, along with Jim Harrison. And I knew he'd -- not disapprove of me writing a memoir in particular, but you know, they're fiction guys, they write fiction.

And he said, "Well, whatever you're writing has you by the back of the neck. And you just kinda have to go with it." It is what it is. You have to accept what it is. And that's the roughest part about memoir writing -- or any kind of writing, I think. I love Toni Morrison; I think she's incredible. I will never write like her in a million years. It's just not going to happen. I have a very distinct style. And it's not that. [laughter] So it's accepting your writing. If you're writing a memoir, accepting that this is what it is.
And then you have to find a structure for it.... I read a million memoirs. And I would find somebody and go, "Oh, OK, you can do this; this is a structure that will work."

Eucalypt Sydney

Not well today so in bed listening to radio. Its a lovely day so a shame to miss. Tea and then venture out to supermarket I think.

Oh lovely things on the internet. Plant Amnesty who are campaigning against the torture of trees and shrubs - Seattle based but desperately needed in the UK. Kaffe Fassett who is doing a knitting workshop in Libertys ! And finally but most funnily Photoshop Disasters

Creative people should have hobbies

My Yiddish class convened in Glasgow last night to put on an entertainment in song, dramatic playlet and instrument for a group of elderly Glaswegian Jews. Luckily the class I'm in is full of talented singers, bagpipe players etc so we were able to put on a passable entertainment. I am officially the worst speaker in the class so I was in charge of surtitles on cards for the dramatic bit.

We got the 10.30 train back to Edinburgh. After all the excitement last night I'm exhausted but gathering my strength to go to work.

Anyway my rambling point is many things in my life I have to do well, photography, teaching, filmmaking. Its nice to have something in ones life that is just fun. It adds to life a rounded dimension which is not all about being good it, achieving and excelling.

Pic from here

After my moan last night to L I've got on the phone this morning to find out who is responsible for ordering the digging up of all the cherry blossom trees from Nicholson Square. It sounds silly but the cherry blossom there is one of the things that makes me feel we'll make it though the winter and out the otherside. I'm not going to take things lying down anymore.

the real toy story

from Treehugger

After many months I managed to meet my friend L at Sophies bar for the pub knitting. The endless toil of baby blanket for me and a hat for her and plunged into the ills of the world. (Edinburgh is being destroyed by a crazed council hell bent on removing all the trees, foisting a 7 year plan for trams, selling off prime real estate for a pittance - ME. HER equalities down the pan in Scotland and getting worse as fast as the statistics can be compiled). However we were the only knitters .... quelle pub knitters?

Small spark of hope on the horizon - one baby blanket down 2 to go. The first one is at the outsourced finishing collective ie mother for a crochet border. The original blanket which was made for The Cutest Neice Ever (TM) was being used this weekend to turn her into a Blanket Monster. Blanket covering small child instantly turns said child into a Blanket Monster...

Tomorrow I go to Glasgow. I think I'll splash out on more film.

Picture from Carol Hummer

Window in the Grassmarket Vintage shop

Such a beautiful day here. I sat out with my journal, coffee and enjoyed the warmth and the blue skies.

Its partly due to coming here relatively late in life from SA but we've always been taught to make the most of the weather here when its good. To extract every drop of pleasure. Its a good way to live.

rest and be thankful at a bench in Amsterdam

from Apartment Therapy

The mighty friday night

Yesterday I met a friend at the library - I was hoping to pick up the copy of Michael Pollen's In Defense of Food that I'd ordered. But it wasn't ready for collection so I picked up a few other books and we walked down Leith Walk together. My friend wanted to go and pick up spices at the Chinese supermarket. It was fantastic incredibly good value. I restricted myself to bayleaves, jasmine tea and rock sugar for the princely sum of £1.99 while she ment mad in the spices section. I'm definitely going back there to stock up. Then we kept on walking and disappeared into secondhand furniture shops as I'm looking out for a chest of drawers. (I've lived without one for 8 years I can probably live a bit longer). Sadly as we were late in the afternoon the butcher and fishmongers were closed but Fruit Heaven was open and I bought 3 avocados, an artichoke and some ginger for £2.10. Then I went to Lidels with friend and put an end to shopping as I was weighed down by library books. But I do feel bad that I don't support independent local shops more in my area and I should make more effort instead of sticking to Scotmid.

Then my friend persuaded me to go to Ocean Terminal where she lives for coffee and then it merged into dinner and Dirty Sexy Money and oh joy of joys a Mighty Boosh Compilation DVD. I keep on falling over the two protagonists when I'm in London - they must live near my friend Sarah - I loved it.

its an old file and I can't move it around - just do some desk yoga... its Manly Beach Sydney

good stuff

Half day at work. I'd cleared my afternoon for time with The Cutest Neice (TM) but she has not arrived yet. So went for a walk at Porty with a friend - gosh it was stunning today. Beautifully bright with large banks of fluffy clouds rolling across the sky. After walking along the beach we went to the pet shop to view the latest in kitten collars as her kittens have divested themselves of their collars. What a nice afternoon.

Came home sat outside with more knitting - so near yet so far to finish blanket... I was using some shetland wool which I bought at the new knitting shop in Edinburgh K1 in the West Bow. Very lovely shop with many gorgeous wools, bags and wooden crochet hooks. And a scheme where by you get a loyalty card and a stamp for every £10 spent. I've already worked my way up to two stamps.

Helped Polish lodger fill out application form and then had to lie down and have a rest while listening to The Archers. Walking on the sand is actually quite tiring.

Cat sleeping beside me on the shelf paws crossed under her chin. Off to soak my feet in Dead Sea Salts.

Great discussion about really horrible jobs

Quick links

At last The Little Red Blog of Revolutionary Knitting

and 1001 Journals the 1000 Journals extended - I've even managed to sign up for one

Easter Monday

No chocolate left. Beautiful day I tried to sit out with my morning pages but it was too cold even with a coffee in hand. Retreated indoors, threw clothes into the washer they should dry beautifully in this cold but dry weather.

Busy week and weekend. Working fulltime really cuts into my day... Yesterday saw two films The Son of Rambeau (lovely a bit tvish but sweet all the same and even sweeter that it was a free screening) then The Dybukk at the Filmhouse. I helped organise a screening of Yiddish films there which has grown out of my Yiddish class - more info here. My Yiddish teacher was worried that the screening would be very quiet but after a bit of emailing it was about 80% full. In the evening I went to a lecture by Barry Davies on Yiddish Film which was fascinating. There are apparently only about 150 surviving examples so I could easily set a project of seeing them all.

Sat I saw the Ansel Adams exhibition at the City Art Centre. My friend wanted to go to the Dean Gallery but I couldn't face the walk and cold. It was great seeing the Adams pictures in the flesh so to speak after so many years seeing them reproduced but I'm sad to say I really miss seeing exhibitions on weekdays. The entire place was filled with couples who seem to think that visiting an art exhbition is a great place to a) exibit to your potential mate that you are a good catch by being interested in art and b) just how much you love them by standing in front of the exhibits glued to each other fondling bits of each other to prevent the single exhibtion visitors from viewing the exhibits.

In honour of Spoon Cafe and meeting R & B there on Friday afternoon. Lemon cake yum !

Polaroid Roundup

Article in the NY Times about how despite its being phased out polaroids are becoming cooler.

Also via 52projects - Save Polaroid Blog

Finally My Polaroid Blog which makes me wish I'd got into polaroids... but part of me wonders if I'm just envying here west coast lifestyle!

Cult of the Holga camera - article at the Independent.

Allow yourself to create badly

Just spent an hour trying to write a first draft of a book outline. Ghastly. Dreadful. Just sent it via email to my collaborator, cringing internally.

But I also know that everything starts off unattractive and misshapen its the first step in creating something.

Roses all around metaphorically speaking today.

Maggie Nelson interview

CV: What's the most helpful creativity technique you know?
MN: I know there are many who believe in the Trollope school of thought, that one should wax one's ass to the chair and spit out novels or sestinas or whatever without waiting around for that elusive, romantic, ghost-in-machine, inspiration. But for me the work of being a writer is the easy part. I like being at work. What I like less are the soggy, ill-defined but probably necessary periods between monsoon and drought. The periods of silence, inactivity, and aimlessness that inevitably punctuate a life. Being possessed is pleasurable -- it feels good to lose control of the car while also somehow staying behind the wheel. But abiding with a dead or resting or paused brain, or numbness, or ordinariness, or sanity -- that's harder for me. So the best trick I know has less to do with tapping into creativity and more to do with cultivating the capacity to live without it. To let it go, and not feel as if the plug has been pulled on life. This abiding demands a certain kind of acceptance: If it is better that I write something again, let me write something again. If it is better that I never write again, let me never write again. (The prayer I'm cribbing from actually requires a more radical acceptance: If it is better for me to be dead, let me be dead.) I wouldn't call this a trick, exactly; it's more of a renunciation.
Poet Anthony McCann didn't teach this to me, but he smartly reiterated it to me the other day. We were talking about these periods, and he just said something simple like, the hard part is learning how to bear them. Just knowing that someone else is up against a similar problem is often enough to help me in a profound way. More profound, probably, than any nugget of advice. Neither he nor I, as relative newcomers to Los Angeles, has yet figured out how to write about the city, so we keep taking long hikes at dusk, looking for coyotes, and, at the summit, staring in awe at the ridiculous expanse of the city below. Waiting for the lights to come on, I guess. There is no guarantee that they will, but every time I've been up there, they have.

More here

I've taken quite a few pictures in loos - as I use them as handy places to load more film.

interview with Keri Smith

CV: How do imperfection and impermanence influence your work?

KS: Our culture teaches us that there is a standard that is most desirable and that things that are imperfect are less desirable. You can also see this applied to the emotional realm -- dark, ugly, or negative emotions are deemed dysfunctional; if we are not happy, we need to take a pill to feel better. So we all grow up with some kind of ideal that really has nothing to do with our personal beliefs or reality (accepting what actually exists and saying, "I am not perfect, and that is okay").

Over time we create a set of standards that none of us can possibly live up to, and so we have a tendency to beat ourselves up or become critical with much of what we attempt (which leads to depression). The goal for me at some point became to examine those imperfections, in the emotional realm but also in my creative life. I used to become frustrated when I would make a mistake or when a drawing didn't turn out the way I had intended. This is a natural part of creating, but I wanted to consider what would happen if I approached it from the perspective that those imperfections are not just beautiful but actually the thing necessary to make my work unique.
This is where the need to treat everything as an experiment came in. If you watch children creating, they often treat everything as an exercise where everything that happens is just a part of the exploration process (not a means to an end). It is adults that place value on the final product; children see it more as a journey -- "What if I add blue to the page?" Through my own research process I was introduced to the work of John Cage, who in his own work had tried to incorporate the concept of indeterminacy, a process by which the control of the artist is given over to some other means (decisions are determined by chance operations, such as dice, I Ching, or randomness). I became interested in this concept as a way for [me] to let go and not have to control the work.

More Here

away in London

Back this evening - amazing dark stormy skies as the train sped north.

Very busy trip.

Thursday - Derek Jarman Exhibiton at the Serpentine Gallery. Big big artist hero of mine and when I wrote to him when I was at uni he sent me a book of his by return post. Then to Photographers Gallery and saw amazing photographs of the US in the 70's. I know I should link properly but tired... Went to Chinatown and bought loose green jasmine tea in a gorgeous yellow tin £2.80. Resisted Hello Kitty sweetie tins.

Friday visiting the niecelet in Cambridge. Feeding herself by spoon - this included feet which had a good layer of strawberry organic yoghurt on them. Nap and then woke up early very very cross until we put her into her new trike - it has a handle for mommy to push her - but she thinks its all her own work. Park, swan feeding, swings, a giving a little boy who climbed onto her trike a very hard stare.

Friday night - back to London, birthday party. Sat into Hoxton for my friend's Short Film Production course, assistant failed to turn up so I man door, wash cups and make coffee. Sat night went with friend to town and end up sitting in on a film biz meeting in a casino. Very intriguing. Film person's mum runs the casino so went there as we could have free dinner. Very nice food - I suppose they want to keep the clients on the premises losing money rather than leaving for food. I'd never been inside a casino so it was very interesting.

Sunday course, dinner with another friend. Today went through Bloomsbury on my way to the London Review of Books Shop - totally soaked in a torrential downpour - free umbrellas are pretty useless.