Dumbofeather - 4 years ago I picked up the first issue in Sydney when I was staying there. I loved the look of it. Its beautifully designed and has great inspiring content about creative people forging ahead and making a difference. I've tried to find it online without success but just before I went to London I stumbled across it and found that it is now available to buy in london at Magma. I braved the monsoonlike rains and failed to find it in Convent Garden - I'd stupidly not written down the address of the shop. I slowly made my way towards Shaftsbury after getting throughly lost and found it by accident! The current issue has an article on Sabrina Ward Harrison, a soap maker, novelist, shoe repairer and a social entrepreneur. 

the slow lane

Having a slow morning - good after 2 months plus of going pell mell.

Australian slow guide to life.

Also Seat 61 a guide to travelling in style by train.

A miserable and dreary wet day here. I foolishly on Thursday said to a friend that my many years of clothes angst had been vanquished. I had now been able to go out and find nice, flattering clothes in my size after a change in attitude (the attitude before being that I wouldn't find anything and it therefore becoming a self fulfilling prophecy.

HA ! said the Universe and I've spent a fruitless day trailing about trying to find a jacket for an interview - A Very Important Interview. It monsooned down as I trailed wearily between shops. I did manage to get a bag, shoes and an umbrella but no jacket.

Great interview with Patti Digh of 37 Days.

strange creatures living in Liberty's

Today there wasn't enough work in the office so instead of surfing aimlessly or worse checking out facebook I went to personnel and suggested we have an afternoon off and come back when the work was more plentiful. Some how on the way into town towards lunch H suggested this place she had read about in the Times. Yes ! I remembered the same article - indeed I'd remembered his original venture Pierre Victoire. I knew were it was located so we marched down there. Avoiding Paperchase (its just about the dream of being organised I realise - expensively). It was a simply lovely day in Edinburgh. We got to Chez Pierre about 1.45 nabbed a window table immediately went over the £6 fixed budget by opting for a glass of wine each. Oh but it was delish. Ravenous we hardly spoke at all. My rose so fruity and fresh I'm afraid that I drunk it rather quickly. And as I rarely drink at all got quite tipsy in no time at all. We began to expand on the subject of our various businesses and career adventures. I'm waiting for something to come off or not (currently not) I'm an impatient woman. Despairing slightly (ok ok I was tipsy). If this did not come off then I would have to do that etc etc. A note book was produced a calculator - tipsy calculations were made. Then they were abandoned as a friends' mother spied us in the window and she came in and had a class of wine. Much merriment. Then we finally left at 4.30. A very French meal I thought later. And even later realised helped me to just chill out about the something. If one thing happens it happens if not, not. In the meanwhile I want to hold onto the intention that the kind of work life I want includes 2 1/2 hour plus lunches.

Werner Herzog on Filmmaking

"Herzog gave me a quick run-down of his tips on how to be a successful film-maker: “Work as a bouncer in a sex club, work as a taxi driver, work as a butcher – earn the money and make your own film. Today, with these little digital cameras, there is no excuse any more.” Herzog stole his first camera and ended up using it to make 11 films. “It fulfilled its real destiny,” he says. "From here

ordinary everyday miracles

Today on the way home I looked over the fence and saw a teenage rabbit nibbling on municipal rose leaves beside one of the busiest streets in Edinburgh. So cute, so unconcerned apart from getting the freshest newest leaves into its mouth. I got the bus to Portobello walked on the beach and on the way back to the bus stop stopped to smell each rose poking over the fences of the gardens I passed.

I love park plantings.

Off to bed with a new book. Feels indulgent.

"... You need to realize something else: you can lead a perfectly good and satisfactory life even if you are not a writer (artist). When I figured that out I could be perfectly happy and not be a writer, I became a better writer. The unhappiest people in the world may be the ones who think their happiness depends on artistic success of some kind." Wendell Berry via Keri Smith

I know that my happiness has more to do with seeing The Cutest Niece  (TM) eating blueberries by hand this evening. Watching a fantastic film last night Encounters at the End of the World, my cat sleeping on me, a perfectly ripe nectarine and knowing I'm meeting a friend for lunch.

This evening my work computer had a nervous breakdown and decided to rebuild my mailboxes. Reimporting my work emails - 17,005 individual emails - took 20 mins. I've only been there since mid April. Friday the 13th was the day when the server went down and after two days working over the weekend I'm still finding crucial bits of information missing which might mean if I don't fix it people might not have a place to stay. Yes Homeless ! Sleeping in the park !left work early tonight at 10.15.

What has sent me over the edge today was nothing to do with work as such but a friend who has been sending me emails demanding the phone number of another friend who I didn't want to pass on but I did tell friend C that friend B wanted her to get in touch. One reason amongst many that I didn't give her the phone no being that I don't actually have the phone no of said friend C with me. Bugger me but remembering to haul myself to work and deal with the 400 or so guests keeps me well occupied. Of course she sent me an email which sent me over the edge this morning. I forgot the sane council of some and tartly replied and put her on my junk email option. I wonder a) is there something wrong with me b) is there something wrong with B c)Is this what happens when you set boundaries ?and d)I don't wonder I know I HATE being a go between. Its the 21st centuary you have the option, of writing, emailing and god love you even visiting a person in the flesh in addition to phoning someone. So get off your arse and do so.

PS promise I'll go back to my hiatus

I promised H this photie yesterday. Been taking loads recently just walking to and from places doing errands.

Will probably be on a mini hiatus until July due to work pressues.

Grief ~ over the past few days, perhaps even weeks, a profound grief has been nagging me, tugging at my skirt, catching me in moments where I can't shake it off. Postponed grief cannot be put at bay forever. I spent a lot of time with my dead friend doing the work I am doing now. She knows or knew exactly the pressures I'm under right now. She knows the lack of time, racing to do things, check things, she would sympathise with the sheer waste of time in meetings as our deadline moves inexorably closer. I sit and look at documents whose aesthetics would have her birling in her grave if she saw them.

I miss her

I miss her

I miss her

I miss her

I left work at 11.15 pm today. Outside I could see a strange glow in the sky -cloud shapes.

As I walked towards my bus stop the grief rose and when I left the bus again I walked under the trees wracked by tears. I walked into the park silent and empty of people and I scanned the sky for the moon. I thought if I see the moon I will be comforted.

I saw the moon and the grief is still with me. I got a message on my answerphone from a friend's husband - she has just given birth to a baby girl. Life goes on but we grieve for those who are not with us and the parts of ourselves that they represent.

Soho door - the sign says 'NO Prostitutes here'

chocolates for the tired soul - display of Prestat in Liberty's

There is something about a green door and a red frame. On the bus I am mostly attracted by the colours of doors and their frames. The placement of doors beside each other. What this betrays psychologically beats me except for a longing perhaps to step into another dimension another way of being, another life.

~~~~~~

Had a no good wrong kind of day the kind where speaking to particular people engenders rage - with in seconds. Looking at the green door and the red frame and reconfiguring ones mind is becoming essential to survival.

Now if only the fire safety info had not been stuck on that lovely red hose reel. I was so tempted to peel it off.

Jaunt to Kirriemuir

Yesterday took the train to Cupar - fabulous wonderful views over the Forth crossing the Forth Rail Bridge and Fife was looking very lush and green. Then a friend and I drove to Kirriemuir (birthplace of JM Barrie). A dear wee place almost like a model village. Beautiful vernacular sandstone architecture on a small hillock. We were there to go to the Bank St Gallery and see R's exhibition. She had recommended a cafe in the same street 88 degrees. Which was fab, great food, wonderful service and Vogue magazines to read. Afterwards we hit the charity shops and I scored half price tapestry wool, racking through giant bags of skeins. I can highly recommend Kirriemuir for wool. The British Red Cross seems to be well stocked with mohair by the way. We returned via Dundee and did some clothes shopping.