rainbows and kittens, brown paper parcels

Not quite, I left work on Monday got the bus home and as I walked towards my flat a beautiful rainbow appeared over Leith Links and the football match going on under it. I've just done the bulk of a job which felt like 24 hours a day for two months, actually it was more like 10-12, and the last two weeks without a day off. Occasionally I'd go off and the results were always hideous. So the rainbow was a sign ! A definite sign that I was out the other side. Now I've caught up on my sleep, made roast chicken, talked to the cat, done a load of washing, bought books, written postcards, contemplated the washing up mound and processed some films. Slowly easing back to 'normal' life.

Except that I don't want my normal life at all. Just before this job started I met a friend for a walk and she asked me if I'd teach again in the autumn. And I blurted out 'I don't know if I'll be here.' I stunned myself -I didn't know I was even thinking of leaving but I must have been. I've been thinking the unthinkable. Upending the assumptions about my life and the way it should be - its shocking - I feel a little selfish. And that makes me think I'm on the right track. So my head is buzzing with a million things which seem more pressing than my v lazy day. Visits to 3 bookshops, two cafes, one film screening and picking up some holgas from Happy Snaps.