Grief ~ over the past few days, perhaps even weeks, a profound grief has been nagging me, tugging at my skirt, catching me in moments where I can't shake it off. Postponed grief cannot be put at bay forever. I spent a lot of time with my dead friend doing the work I am doing now. She knows or knew exactly the pressures I'm under right now. She knows the lack of time, racing to do things, check things, she would sympathise with the sheer waste of time in meetings as our deadline moves inexorably closer. I sit and look at documents whose aesthetics would have her birling in her grave if she saw them.

I miss her

I miss her

I miss her

I miss her

I left work at 11.15 pm today. Outside I could see a strange glow in the sky -cloud shapes.

As I walked towards my bus stop the grief rose and when I left the bus again I walked under the trees wracked by tears. I walked into the park silent and empty of people and I scanned the sky for the moon. I thought if I see the moon I will be comforted.

I saw the moon and the grief is still with me. I got a message on my answerphone from a friend's husband - she has just given birth to a baby girl. Life goes on but we grieve for those who are not with us and the parts of ourselves that they represent.