I did leave the house

and was rewarded by seeing a rainbow over Leith.

I had lunch at my favourite cafe, read Saturday newspaper supplments and picked up a present for a friend's baby ( a year late) bought chocolate truffles and chicken to make my favourite meal of roast chicken and potatoes.

Today I walked on the beach, there was mist on the water and hard to see where it ended and the horizon began, I did errands, bought my NY underwear and came home and fell asleep. The truth is I'm very tired, I don't want to do anything on my to do list, tidy, wash up, clean, dozing while listening to Radio 4 is about it for me.

I have enormous difficulty in admitting how I really feel instead I want to layer on what I ought to feel. Ie I had a lazy day yesterday to today I 'should' be raring to go. Accepting how I am right now is very hard. I'm now scrolling through the week thinking of what I need to achieve when for certain deadlines and frankly it makes me feel even worse! Hopefully I'll be able to do all I need to do tomorrow night. Tonight. I'm going to watch Miss Marple and eat left over chicken and talk to cats. I think I'm lacking in noodling time. Swathes of time to just be. I've been rushing and rushing from work to social appointments for months now and its just all catching up with me.