sorry about silence - internet concked out on me

started new job - nice boss came and sang a Lisa Simpson song to me on my second day - made me realise what was wrong with last job

head down on excel as a result

gorgeous weather - I keep on smelling the roses which are blooming away

lots and lots of photos taken

Manly, Sydney

"I keep a notebook with me all the time - and I scribble.... You begin to get your felt reaction in a phrase, perhaps. But, you know, I've said before that the angel doesn't sit on your shoulder unless the pencil's in your hand. ... And in truth that [is only] given after years of desiring it, being open to it, and walking toward it."
Mary Oliver

Look at me a website of found photos.

Purrrleasure

I was lying in bed this morning reading and Diego my tabby cat jumped up beside me, rolled over and was in exctacy as I rubbed his tummy. 99% of Diego's life consists of pleasure, napping, climbing trees, sniffing plants, eating, being cuddled (the other 1% is when neighbourhood cats invade his house and he has to tell them to piss off).

Last week I was trying to explain to someone how much pleasure I get from talking photos. Much of the pleasure is from how uncontrolled it is. The camera I use is famed for basically being quite crap. They might come out or not, it might be delicious deep colours or look like a faded Monet, it might superimpose 3 different images onto the same frame or the entire roll might be blank. I carry my camera in my bag or the pocket of my coat in winter and whenever I see something of interest, the light in the sky, a piece of graffiti I can take out the camera and attempt to capture it. Somehow because I have my camera I look more closely at the world and enjoy it more. Getting a roll processed is like a Christmas present. It activates my inner purr. But I've been deprived of my camera for over 3 months. It got broken in NY (on the ferry to Ellis Island) and I was afraid to try and get it fixed because I thought I'd be told the bad news that it couldn't be fixed and I couldn't afford a new one.

There deprived of pleasure for months and months for no good reason at all except fear. We just don't have enough pleasure in life! We deprive ourselves of ice creams, a quick walk in a park instead of hurrying directly to do errands, we don't slow down to smell the roses blooming near the bus stop, we don't sit in our gardens if we have them instead we do more housework, we fail to cook our favourite meals, we get cheap supermarket soap instead of splashing out an outrageous £1.45 for Australian Organics soap, we have lovely rose sented body lotian but do we use it? Like heck! Pleasure is not expensive normally it costs in time not money. So sit in that patch of sun, buy something which will give you pleasure, use what you have but have been saving for best.*

Resources

Madam Gena
Watch a cat

* One of my mother's friend's once said to me 'I don't have anything for best because I don't want my husband's next wife to enjoy it!'.

Her mother had died young and everything she'd kept for best was used by her step mother.

What is your happiness?

from Ali Edwards

sun

warmth

camera working

cats wanting foot rubs

my organic box

Mooskines in Edinburgh

more naked cycling controversy

humm aparently the organisers tried to institute a photography policy which seems to have caused a hoo ha.

London trip

Highlights include

My lomo working! Lots and lots of photos taken.

Walking through Camden and seeing a narrow boat going through the lock with a urban duck swimming beside a floating beer can.

Meeting two Edinburgh friends at Verde in Spitalfields Jeanette Winterson's shop/cafe.

Walking and walking. Because of this I saw so much more than if I'd hit the tube or busses. I walked to Leighton House and on the way passed through Green Park. The seemed to be somekind of crazed Ruritanian ritual going on. Cavalry and braid and prancing horses. When I went up closer they started firing a salute. All the tourists began coverging around the taped off area. It turned out to be a 21 gun salute for Prince Philip. Then there was a marching band. Later my friend S (her 40th birthday being the reason for my visit) was told as a child that God Save the Queen was being played on the radio on her birthday - just for her!

I met my friend B at Leighton House which is magnificent. The 'Turkish' room is amazing and the photos I've seen just don't do it justice. We sat in the garden for about an hour (its free the garden) with a squirrel at our feet.

On the bus back into town I looked over at Hyde Park Corner and thought 'those people don't have very many clothes on'. Then I said to B 'Good grief they're naked!' The entire bus population's heads swiviled to the left as indeed a stream of naked people on bicycles sailed past. It appears to be the World Naked Bike Ride ab annual protest against oil.

In London town...

the wonderful 'funny man' fixed my lomo for £9.40! and the same day. I'll post his contact details when I get back to Edinburgh. I have so missed my camera. I'll even see about uploading again when I get back home. But think I need to find something better than Picassa. Any suggestions?

London is AWFLY hot... walked through Camden today and watched a narrow boat go through a lock with a rather browbeaten duck swimming among the beer cans. Lunch at Verde in Spittalfields (Jeanette Winterson's shop/cafe) lovely and we got a free choc to try. Got the tube to Libertys and bought soap and suncreen and have resisted fabric so far.

Danny Gregory has a great posting on drawing. I've got to get back to it myself. Its a gorgeous day here and I'm finding it hard to motivate myself. Lying on a beach sounds good or sitting in the garden. But tomorrow I go to London for a friend's birthday party and I must clean clothes, wrap presents and try to get my camera fixed. I've been without a working camera for over three months now. I miss it so much. I love seeing a weird cloud formation, bit of graffiti or other oddity and being able to whip put my lomo. I do hope its fixable. I'm off to take it to the 'funny man' in Abbeyhill.

Ways to jump start your writing

over at 52 Projects

The Mirror Project - its been ages since I visited here. Just been trauling through the lomo uploads.

Dear X

Wow! I can see that you are easily distracted from yourself and need reminding of your core - who you really are.

You need to remember what interests you and what you enjoy. Enjoy not want to do for the kudos. The light on the water - the graffiti on the door - be obscure. Stop trying to gain love and stop trying to gain approval. It doesn't work in the end.

Instead be obscure, talk to yourself, talk to cats, enjoy the abundant luxuries of life. A cozy blanket, a ripe strawberry, a piece of velvet, the smell of roses, the bare earth, the sea. Oh the sea, you can never be there too much.

Enjoy your body. Love it - don't get to caught up in changing it - change your mind first and then your spirit and it will follow.

Dream about love and give love. Dare to dream love dare to think you have love to give. You do have lots of love and are loved - the more you send it out the more it will return.

Be open do not close yourself off being afraid of being hurt. The price paid for being safe is too high. You will never feel and if you never feel you will never feel love.

Embrace the eccentricity of life and embrace the multitudes that dwell within and without yourself.

Be gentle with yourself and take more care of you.

You are precious and the more you treat yourself as precious the more people will see you and treat you in the same way.

love

love

love

M

Real Cats Don't Eat Quiche

No really - I ran out of cat food yesterday and left some quiche (bacon & corgette) out for them before going to work. It was still there when I got back. Yes I am a hideous person.

Poetry Chook

Check out Catherine's NZ blog on poetry amongst other things. I've 'known' Catherine for several years now as we are on an email list together.

grubbing about in the dirt

First weeding of the year... my mother came and cut my rather hairy looking hedge. Everything is so late this year because of the weird spring. I must admit I'm not a natural gardener. I love sitting in gardens and the idea of gardening but I don't actually do much unless under the express direction of my mother the uber-gardener. We took out all the tulip bulbs out of my pots, they will be replanted in the autumn after storage, planted some nasturium plants, removed weeds, attacked the dandelions and watered. It felt great to be creating something from scratch. I was delighted to see that despite my appalling neglect my peony seems to have leaves and there are 3 yellow roses on my Woolworths rose (scent as well!). I'm tempted to go out and buy plants this weekend to add to the collection of pots. Its rather the 'triumph of hope over experience' as I've done this before and the dratted things have keeled over on me. I'd instituted a plan of planting lots of blackcurrents and redcurrants previously in order to have the ingredients for Summer Pudding locally grown but none of the plants survived a winter in Leith.

you grow girl is a great resource for gardening

Boys who knit or to Sir with Yarn

Losing my Mind, Coming to my senses